My Evil Family

Last Post for a While

December 29, 2010

Tags: Almighty, endings

Now that the year is drawing to a close, I'm going to take a break from this blog. For one thing, pretty much everyone in my family hates me for it. For another, my grandmother Almighty wants me to stop and what Almighty wants, Almighty gets. Let's just say she has her ways.

There are plenty of old posts to read if you're looking for stories of family evil. I don't think they feel dated. Evil never goes out of style.

Thanks to everyone who stopped by to read my posts. Who knows, I may start this up again one day, once all the family hysteria dies down...

yours in bad taste,

JANE OUT

Almighty's Evil Plan (My Theory)

November 16, 2010

Tags: Almighty, Mamie Overbeck, Junius Overbeck, Brooks, Norrie, Bachelors Cotillon, Great Expectations, Miss Havisham, evil

Some people — not that many anymore, but some — are fascinated by the Bachelors Cotillon, what it means, and how the girls who are invited are selected. Almighty Lou has a lot to say about who she thinks is “good enough” to be a debutante. Even though she herself is rich, she doesn’t place much emphasis on money. No, this is Baltimore, where family and background are every thing. Anybody can get money. Connections are helpful, and, if necessary, blackmail works too. (more…)

Halloween Part Deux

October 26, 2010

Tags: halloween, Almighty, Bertram Hightower, ghosts

Look! The Windsors with Adolf Hitler! The evil, it's everywhere...
Okay, Halloween is this weekend. I've really got to get on it.

Bridget doesn't want to help me crash Bibi's party by being a lapdog for some stupid reason, and Sassy wants me to take our little brother Takey out trick or treating around the neighborhood with her. That means stopping at Almighty's house. Hmmm. Maybe I don't want to go to Bibi's dumb party after all. I'm getting an idea here... (more…)

The Black Widow

October 7, 2010

Tags: Almighty, Mame Rennert, Junius Overbeck, marriage, money

Almighty was born with lots of money. I've already told you some of the evil ways her ancestors earned it. But she has even more money now. How did she get it? By marrying people.

My grandmother has been married five times. Her first husband, Alphonse Sullivan, Jr., my grandfather, was rich like her. But he died of a heart attack when he was 43. People said he worked too hard. My father was only ten years old at the time. Almighty inherited Al Jr.'s share of his family's money, of course. Cha-ching. (more…)

Almighty vs Mame: Socialite Smackdown

September 29, 2010

Tags: Almighty, Mamie Overbeck, the Duchess of Windsor

I feel so empty inside: The Duke and Duchess of Windsor
And so the great feud began. Mamie's wedding to Junius Overbeck was the social event of the year. Almighty was invited but refused to go. No, she had a better idea. A lovely, wicked idea.

Almighty threw a party of her own the same day as Mamie's wedding. But this was no ordinary party. It was an irresistible invitation. A reception at Gilded Elms with none other than the Duke and Duchess of Windsor. You know, Edward, Prince William's great-great uncle? The guy abdicated the British throne so he could marry his true love? Who just happened to be a Baltimore girl, Wallis Warfield Simpson, and an old girlfriend of Almighty's father. (more…)

My Family Is Evil

July 13, 2010

Tags: evil, family history, Almighty

Welcome to myevilfamily.com, a blog written by me,
Jane Sullivan, to expose the sins of my family. We
have committed a lot of sins over the centuries, so
I’ll start at the beginning and work my way up to
now. Once I’ve covered every thing my family has
done wrong, maybe I’ll move on to the crimes of
other evil families I know.

On this blog, You, the World at Large, will learn the
truth about the great and storied Sullivan family of
Baltimore, Maryland. Maybe you’ve heard of my
grandmother, Arden Louisa Norris Sullivan Weems
Maguire Hightower Beckendorf, better known as
“Almighty Lou.” Why does she have so many names?
Because she’s been married five times. She’s never
been divorced — she’s a heavy-duty Catholic, so the
very idea of divorce makes her shudder. No, her first
four husbands died. Four of them. Died. Does this
make anyone suspicious? Am I the only one asking
questions here? (more…)

Confessions of the Sullivan Sisters